Charlie Hui, Extern and Zaliyna Hina, Extern
Association for Science in Autism Treatment

Resources for siblings of autistic individuals

Photographed by Campus Production (pexels.com)

Hi there! I’m Charlie, a current High School Senior in Austin, Texas. If you’re like me, you may have a sibling with autism. Growing up isn’t easy; puberty happens, adolescent mood swings are inevitable, and just being a teenager is a truckload of work itself. I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t always been the best sibling, or helped my brother all the times I could have, but learning from my missteps and facing challenges is just part of life.

Throughout the years, I’ve tried to make myself a better sibling for my brother, one step at a time, but noticed that while there is so much literature for parents and educators on how to help those with autism, there are fewer resources geared towards the average teen and pre-teen. That’s when I decided I wanted to share some helpful resources and insights for siblings across America who are in similar situations as I am. The annotated bibliography will start with resources written for those of you in elementary and middle school. Then, Zaliyna, my fellow Extern and co-author, will introduce resources for those of you in high school and beyond. Finally, if you are a parent or teacher, Drs. Fiske and Austin have compiled a separate annotated bibliography for you, meaning no matter whether you are a sibling or an adult supporting siblings, there’s a resource that will suit your needs!

Just as every person with autism is different, every sibling relationship is different. There are no one-size-fits-all solutions, not even in the resources below. In fact, some sources might be broader and address siblings with special needs, not specifically focused on autism; however, the insights these resources provide still make them worth the read! At the end of the day, treat the annotated reading list as a starting point: explore the links shared, experiment with different approaches, reflect on what makes sense for you, and blend ideas and suggestions to best support you and your relationship with your brother or sister with autism. We are all works in progress!

Resources for Elementary Schoolers:

Resources for Middle School

Photographed by Ketut Subiyanto (pexels.com)

Autism, My Sibling, and Me. Reading through the resource, you’ll see that each page breaks down big ideas in a way that makes sense. Each story gives you something relatable to think about, helping you build empathy and learn how to support your sibling. By the end, you’ll not only know more about autism—you may also feel a little more connected to your autistic brother or sister. You can download this book by adding it to your cart (it’s free) and providing the website with your parents’ email and phone number at checkout (no credit card info necessary!), or you can request a paperback copy. Of course, check in with them first!

Sibling Resource Packet. This thorough free packet made by the Boston Medical Center is designed for you to go over with your parents. It provides a wide range of resources your parents can use to help you explore what it means to have a sibling with autism, and if you’re really adventurous, resources and stories you can read yourself. It compiles a variety of age-tailored resources—including an information brochure with practical tips, a list of online resources, an engaging short story for young children, an interactive comic for tweens and teens, and a resource packet for young adults. The cherry on top is that it offers links to external support groups and informational websites, all aimed at helping siblings understand and navigate their unique experiences (It’s basically like another annotated bibliography!).

Ian’s Walk: A Story About Autism. This seven minute video of Ruby narrating Ian’s Walk, written by Laurie Lears, presents a relaxing story filled with watercolor illustrations of Ian and his siblings as they navigate the challenges of autism, something I found deeply moving the first time I watched it. It helps readers appreciate differences, fosters empathy, and provides a starting point for conversations about autism within families. By not shying away from displaying Ian’s differences but instead having the characters gradually embrace them, the story encourages all of us to accept and celebrate each other just a little bit more. Definitely worth the watch!

Views from Our Shoes: Growing Up With a Brother or Sister with Special Needs. This book, orderable on Amazon, is a collection of short essays written by siblings of children with special needs, and it was a great read. The book gives a raw and personal look into the everyday joys, frustrations, and lessons learned by siblings growing up in unique family circumstances. The book also includes a helpful glossary of disability-related terms!

What About Me?: A Book By and For An Autism Sibling. This picture book by Mandy Farmer is similar to Ian’s Walk and Views From Our Shoes. It’s another story about the joys and day-to-day challenges of growing up with a sibling with autism. This book can hit closer to home for some as it’s also written by an autism sibling, which can help you feel confident that you’re truly hearing the advice of someone who’s been in your shoes.

Sibling Box – Printable Version. This resource by Grand Valley State University is a printable toolkit designed to support you as you work with your sibling with special needs to improve together. It offers a range of hands-on activities—including worksheets, creative prompts, and discussion questions—that encourage you and your sibling to talk to each other, express yourselves, and serve as a catalyst to help you and your sibling feel less distant, and truly like a family.

Family Relationships – A Guide for Siblings of Autistic People. This free, detailed guide by the National Autistic Society offers practical advice for all ages, so whether you’re 8 or 18, there are new lessons waiting for each of you! It covers topics such as communication strategies, managing mixed emotions, and accessing support networks, empowering siblings of all ages with useful tools and insights driven by anecdotes from people who have been in the reader’s shoes before.

Sibling Support Project. Finally, while this last resource is geared towards elementary schoolers, it can be useful for anyone who wants someone to talk to. On this website, there’s an online sibling support group with workshops, useful information, and above all, a pen pal program where you can write and connect with someone going through similar experiences to yourself!

Resources For Middle Schoolers:

Photographed by nappy (pexels.com)

When a Sibling Has a Disability. This article by The New York Times explores the experiences of children who have siblings with disabilities, so if you want to hear about life from someone who’s been in your shoes, this is the resource. It discusses the unique challenges siblings face, including feelings of responsibility, jealousy, and isolation, while also highlighting the deep bonds and resilience that can develop. The article provides insights and practical advice for both you and your parents to support and nurture healthy sibling relationships. It’s a deeply personal and frank article that feels like you’re having a conversation with the author. If you don’t have a NYT account, talk with your parents about creating a free one with your email or check if your school or local library provides free memberships!

A Siblings’ Guide to Autism. This free detailed guide is designed by Autism Speaks for those of you in your tween and teenage years and includes clear explanations of what autism is, outlines common characteristics and behaviors, and discusses how autism can impact family dynamics. The 9-page guide offers practical tips for understanding and supporting an autistic sibling, incorporates personal stories and real-life examples to illustrate common challenges, and provides strategies for communicating about autism with peers and educators. Additionally, it features reflective exercises and discussion prompts like “What Does Autism Look Like?” to help siblings process their feelings and navigate their unique family experiences.

Guidebook for Sibling Youth Engagement. This free guidebook by Special Olympics is a resource designed to promote meaningful engagement between you and your sibling with special needs. Although it is not specific to autism, its graphics are top-notch and provide activities, discussion prompts, and strategies to foster inclusive family dynamics and dispel misconceptions. Most interestingly, it also offers resources on how you can become more involved in contributing to the wider intellectual disability community at large.

Life as an Autism Sibling: A Guide for Teens. This free guide, also created by the Organization for Autism Research, offers a thoughtful and relatable support for those of you who are teenagers who have siblings with special needs. Written with input from real teens, it addresses the emotional challenges and unique experiences that come with growing up in this role. Key topics include understanding autism, family dynamics, coping strategies, and future planning. This guide emphasizes the importance of honest communication and remembering to care for yourself in the process. You can download this book by adding it to your cart (it’s free) and providing the website with your parent’s email and phone number at checkout (no credit card info necessary!).

What Siblings Would Like Parents and Service Providers to Know. This free paper, by the Sibling Support Project highlights the lifelong and critical role we siblings of individuals with disabilities have, yet how families and service providers often overlook us. The paper stresses how we need recognition, support, and the right to our own lives. Like parents, we experience complex emotions and deserve honest communication, quality time, and inclusion in decision-making and future planning. The paper discusses what many of us need and want from the people around us for support. It may help you gather ideas about what you would like your own parents to know about your experience.

After poring through over dozens of different sibling resources and summarizing the ones above, here are some of the lessons I learned, coupled with my own pieces of advice, building off of them, not just as an Extern for ASAT, but as a brother who has an autistic sibling.

      1. Most of the resources provided all emphasize the importance of finding common ground with your sibling. I think this statement can’t be truer. Whether it’s something as simple as running together, playing board games, or diving into a shared virtual world like Minecraft, discovering and sharing a mutual passion helps to create a bridge. It’s not just about having fun—it’s about building a shared experience that deepens connection in ways that words alone often can’t.
      2. Communicating with your sibling doesn’t just have to be through words, teaching your sibling a skill can create new levels of understanding too! If you’re good at something, from playing the saxophone to being a casual artist, try teaching the same skills to your sibling. As a certified middle-school band kid, I found my brother was fascinated whenever I played the trumpet. In time, I tried teaching him music and brass instruments, and it was a great experience for both of us. While he eventually decided to play the Cello (which broke my band-loving heart), I now have a new facet of conversation with him: the world of music.
      3. Many times, the articles talk about how parents with autistic children can be overwhelmed and busy. If you are interested, you can pitch in by helping your sibling out with homework if you can! Sometimes it can be a struggle, but I think this is a great way to understand where your siblings are at, meet them at that level, and work together to find solutions to problems. This not only helps them academically but also reduces the stress and burdens of your parents while allowing you to potentially brush up on your arithmetic and language skills as well.
      4. Finally, the resources mention that your own mental health is just as important as your sibling(s), and self-care is crucial. It’s ok to voice to your sibling when you’re upset or angry with them, but always explain why. Bottling up your anger and trying to hold it in only leads to misunderstanding, tension, and conflict. Just like in any other relationship, honesty and open communication are key. When both sides understand where the other is coming from, it helps everyone in the process.

I hope the reflection and resources I’ve provided can help you in some shape or form on your journey. I am truly thankful you have read this far and wish you all the best! Now it’s Zaliyna’s turn to present to you more high school and adult-oriented resources. If you’re a child and still curious, feel free to keep reading!

Resources For High Schoolers and Adult Siblings:

Photographed by Helena Lopes (pexels.com)

When we think about autism and family life, your parents often take center stage in the conversation, and understandably so. But what about you all, the siblings? More specifically, what about the adult siblings who have grown up with an autistic brother or sister, carrying love, responsibility, and sometimes uncertainty into their own adult lives?

For many neurotypical adults, having a sibling with autism can be both grounding and complex. As roles shift and responsibilities grow, you may often find yourselves quietly navigating emotions, planning for the future, and redefining your relationships in the context of adulthood. Fortunately, recent articles and resources are shining a brighter light on your experiences and offering guidance and support along the way.

How Autism Shapes Sibling Relationships. This article by the Transmitter examines the unique ways in which autism influences sibling dynamics. It delves into the challenges and strengths that emerge within families, highlighting how autistic traits can affect communication, roles, and relationships between siblings. The piece offers insights from both personal anecdotes and expert perspectives, providing valuable context for both you and your parents as you look to understand and nurture these bonds.

5 Types of Autism Sibling Support. This comprehensive guide, published by Adina ABA’s staff, outlines five key areas of support for siblings of children with autism, a resource you can go over with your parents, friends, and extended family. It covers the unique challenges you face (including emotional impact, increased responsibilities, social isolation, educational challenges, and future planning concerns), and practical strategies to support you. The article emphasizes the importance of open communication, self-care, and building strong family relationships, while also highlighting external support systems like community resources, professional counseling, and peer groups. The resource is designed to empower siblings with tools and insights to foster resilience and build lasting bonds within your family.

Neurotypical Adults and Their Autistic Sibling. This resource is a deeply personal piece from Psychology Today that explores the emotional terrain that adult siblings often travel. It talks about guilt, obligation, and love, not in a dramatic or sentimental way, but in an honest and accessible manner. These feelings often live quietly in the background as you try to support your autistic brother or sister while still carving out space for your own lives. The article emphasizes the importance of setting healthy boundaries, not as a form of distancing, but as a way of preserving the relationship itself.

Family Matters: Sibling Relationships. This resource from the Harvard Autism Resource Center offers another perspective, one that looks at sibling relationships over time. It reminds us that these bonds evolve, stretching and reshaping themselves from childhood through adulthood. Life transitions, like moving out, starting a job, or caring for aging parents, can trigger a re-negotiation of roles. This article encourages you to stay connected while respecting each other’s autonomy and capacity for change.

Family Relationships: A Guide for Siblings of Autistic People. This guide delivers straightforward, compassionate advice. It is not filled with jargon or theory. Instead, it gently reinforces ideas like prioritizing self-care, keeping communication open, and preparing thoughtfully for the future. These messages are particularly helpful for siblings who might be quietly wondering, what is my role now, or how do I stay close without feeling overwhelmed?

Being an Adult Sibling of an Individual with Autism Spectrum Disorder. If you’re looking for something more research-based, this journal dives into the psychological and social experiences of adult siblings. The study highlights common themes like anxiety, identity shifts, and evolving caregiving roles. For siblings who have felt isolated in their journey, this kind of research can offer something powerful: validation. It says, you are not imagining this. What you are feeling is real, and it is shared by others.

Adult Sibling Support. That sense of shared experience comes through beautifully in this article that encourages you to seek out others who understand. It highlights resources like the Sibling Leadership Network and adult-focused Sibshops, communities where siblings can talk, listen, and laugh with people who truly understand you. Just knowing that others are walking a similar path can be an enormous relief.

START Project. This resource offers a treasure trove of tools to support your sibling relationships, from children’s books to activity guides to reflective resources for adults. It is especially helpful for those of you who are now mentoring younger family members and want to share autism in a way that is inclusive and loving.

Supporting Siblings in Action. This article by the Autism Community in Action (TACA) offers practical advice through a warm, understanding lens. The article focuses on strengthening sibling relationships, setting clear boundaries, and validating a wide range of emotions. It is a reminder that it is okay for adult siblings to reconnect at your own pace and that a strong relationship does not have to be perfect.

Narratives of Siblinghood: Exploring Perspectives of Adult Siblings of Autistic Individuals. This research paper by Chad Edery and Clare Harvey provides a moving perspective that weaves together the lived experiences of adult siblings of autistic individuals. These voices do not sugarcoat things. They speak of love and resilience, but also of frustration, fear, and hope. What makes this resource so powerful is its honesty. These are the stories that often go untold, and yet they resonate deeply.

The Impact of Autism on Siblings. This free paper by Ferraioli and Harris offers a thoughtful and research-based look at the experiences of siblings of children with autism. Drawing on clinical insights and existing studies, it explores the emotional and social impact on siblings, highlighting both the challenges and the positive outcomes. Although the paper is extensive, it provides a nuanced and evidence-informed perspective that professionals working with families affected by autism will find highly informative. This article was also included in the companion piece that shares resources for parents and teachers to better understand sibling relationships.

Clinical Corner: How to Help Older Autistic Adults at Home? Here at ASAT, our writers add another important layer to this conversation. While much sibling guidance focuses on emotional support, ASAT emphasizes practical strategies for daily living, particularly as autistic individuals age. This includes creating predictable routines, supporting skills like managing finances or appointments, and providing opportunities for social engagement that respect the individual’s preferences. ASAT also stresses the importance of balancing support with autonomy: adult siblings can play a role in fostering independence while remaining a source of care and reassurance. These practical tools help siblings translate love and concern into actionable support, reinforcing both connection and competence.

In Summary:

Taken together, these resources paint a rich and nuanced picture of adult siblinghood in the autism community. They remind us that this journey is not just about care. It is also about connection, identity, and growth. For many adult siblings, the path is not always clear. But with support, honesty, and shared understanding, it is one you do not have to walk alone.

If you are an adult sibling or love someone who is, know that your experiences matter. Your voice is important. And your relationship with your autistic sibling, however it looks today, is part of a larger story, one worth telling and one worth supporting.

At the end of the day, Charlie and I want you to know you’re not alone out there. Mistakes and challenges are bound to be on each of our paths, the important part is for every step we are set back, we take two steps forward: one for ourselves, and one for our siblings.

We hope the resources we presented today can help you strengthen your bonds with your brothers and sisters. This annotated bibliography is by no means is a complete list of all available sibling resources. Continue to explore, to develop new insights and understanding, and maybe one day, develop your own resource to help the generations of individuals who have siblings with autism that will come after us.

And above all, if there’s one takeaway we want to convey, it is that no matter if you are in the first grade or on your second job, we all deserve to feel heard and supported.

Reference for this Article:

Hui, C., & Hina, Z. (2025). Supporting you every step of the way: Resources for siblings of autistic individuals across the lifespan. Science in Autism Treatment, 22(11).

Related Reviews

Related Articles

 

#Home #Parents #Psychologists #Siblings #SocialWorkers

 

Print Friendly, PDF & Email